Reflection

At the start of the course, I have set two objectives I aimed to achieve. The first objective is to learn to better understand other people, and I feel that it has been achieved. In this course, I learned how to actively listen to the person I am talking to. I applied active listening when I was having a conversation with my mother and learnt more about her feelings towards the subject we were discussing. When conversing with her, I involved myself by responding to her and tested my understanding my asking questions. I made sure that I did not interrupt her nor change the subject to let her know that I was interested.

The second objective is to be able to communicate my thoughts and ideas accurately and clearly.  I feel that it has not been achieved to a certain extent. I learned how to develop competence in emotional communication before an emotional display, however I still find it a little tough to follow the steps. There were a few times where in lab classes, the lecturers would comment on my lack of participation in fabrication. It did not quite matter to me in the beginning because I knew that I was helping my team members well. However, I felt frustrated every week because they kept “picking on me”. I was not able to own my feelings and let them get the better of me. Nonetheless, I am able to analyse the situation and think of possible consequences. I will learn to manage my feelings and make sure that I do not react immediately to other’s comments. I will learn to pause and reflect before I convey my thoughts clearly. 

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

I took reference from the movie "Rocky Balboa" for this topic. The conflict I will be describing happened between Rocky and his son, Robert.

Rocky had announced that he was coming out of retirement from boxing to participate in a charity exhibition against the newly crowned undefeated heavyweight champion, Mason "The Line" Dixon". Robert, who had seen the news, decided to talk to his father about his decision.

Robert felt that his father was doing something unnecessary. He expressed his frustration of constantly living in his father's shadow as people would talk about Rocky whenever they saw Robert. He felt that the reason he got a decent job and that people dealt with him was because of his last name. Whenever Robert felt that he was getting a little ahead and something for himself, his father would "mess up his plans". Robert could not make a name for himself due to his father's fame. Robert even pleaded to Rocky to quit the exhibition as he said that it would end up bad for the both of them. It seemed that Robert felt that Rocky would lose the exhibition as his father, who had retired for about twenty years, was up against someone who was currently undefeated. This in turn would hurt Robert due to the embarrassment he would face when people talk to him. Robert had admitted that it was already hurting him when Rocky asked.

Rocky would feel surprised over his son's confession and consequently upset that he had unintentionally hurt his son. He talked about how he felt privileged watching his son grow up to be good and wonderful. Robert "took on the world" when the time came, however things changed. Rocky realised that his son had stopped being himself. When things got hard and people told him that he was not good enough, Robert looked for something to blame. Rocky continued to lecture him about how the world was a harsh place. He advised his son to keep moving forward despite the number of times he had failed. He added on that his son was not a coward who would blame someone else for his own failure, and that he was better than that.

Robert was upset that he was not as successful as he thought he would be. He felt that he was constantly overshadowed by his father's success and blamed his father when things became tough to handle. If you were in Robert's position, how would you feel when Rocky lectured his son?

Evaluating Listening Skills & Nonverbal Behaviour

I observed a conversation between my father and his friends when I went to watch their football friendly match. When my father entered the conversation, they greeted each other with handshakes and “How are you”s. Everyone had a cigarette in their hands and my father joined in.

I noticed that they use hand gestures often. For example, when one of them talked about picking up the others, he pointed to different directions to represent the different locations he drove to. Another would point in the direction he arrived from which made the rest divert their attention to the pointed location. Often, the hand they use to point was the hand which held their cigarette. After pointing or talking, they would smoke almost immediately.

Another thing I noticed was that they were very loud. They would raise their voices to emphasise certain words. When they talked about the weather, my father would raise his voice slightly. For the sentence “It rained heavily in Bukit Panjang,” he placed emphasis on the word “heavily” to stress that it rained cats-and-dogs.  

When one of them were talking, I observed that the others had a relaxed posture as they listened. They would lean towards one side as they placed more pressure on one foot. If they were not smoking at that moment, they would place their hands behind their backs or in their pockets. They maintained good eye contact unless if they were looking out for their friends who had yet to arrive.

In my opinion, their positive behaviour may be due to having known each other for a long time. They would tease each other and laugh it off. The gesture of shaking hands when they meet may be influenced by culture. It is a norm for Malays to greet each other by shaking hands.

Strengths and Challenges in Communicating

Q: Describe your strengths in communication and the challenges you have when communicating with others. In view of this, state two objectives you will set for yourself to achieve by the end of this course.

A: Communication is a way of exchanging information via a medium which can be verbal or non-verbal. People communicate to understand one another. However, there are barriers that may affect our interpretation of the information received and result in a misunderstanding.

I feel that a strength I have in communication would be my ability to receive information. During interpersonal communication and in small groups, I am able to give my full attention to the person relaying their message. For example, I will maintain eye contact with the speaker. I would usually nod or hum to indicate that I am listening attentively to the speaker. Another strength I have would be my ability to relay non-verbal messages, such as texting and writing e-mails. I feel that I have the ability to write clear and precise sentences that allows the receiver to understand my message. When writing text messages, I would send multiple messages instead of a long paragraph to ensure that the message I am sending over is easier to read. 

Some challenges I face when communicating with others would be expressing my thoughts verbally. Sometimes, I speak too fast, stutter, and when I am tired, I slur my words. Many times people have misunderstood my messages because of my pronunciation. Sometimes I avoid speaking because I worry that I will be misunderstood again and embarrass myself. Another challenge I face would be my ability of giving feedback. I feel that I do not give good enough feedback to people when they ask for it.

What I would like to achieve by the end of this course, firstly, would be to improve my ability of giving feedback. I would like to be of help to others when they have approached me for my opinion. Secondly, I want to improve my speech. I want to speak clearer and have a better stage presence so that I will not be misunderstood often, and be confident enough to start conversations.


Note: Underlined sentences were recently added on 5/2/17

Setting my own objectives

How important is it for me to develop effective communication skills?
What will I do in this course to help myself develop as an effective interpersonal communicator?

It is important for me to develop effective communication skills. I want to learn to better understand other people, and communicate my thoughts and ideas accurately and clearly. In my opinion, developing effective communication skills allows people to build and maintain relationships where we can respect and trust one another. Not only do I want to be able to share my ideas, I want to be able to listen and understand the ideas and thoughts of others. To help myself develop as an effective interpersonal communicator, I will participate in discussions and learn to listen actively to others. I will apply the things I will learn in this course. When a person talks, I will respect him/ her by listening attentively and do my best to provide constructive feedback.